Melée Madness
by Grappler Gouf
Summary: What happens when you stick random anime guys, in a room, with food? My first fic....Please R&R!
1. Chapter 1: The Tournament?

Disclaimer: Eek, I don't own anyone here! Unfortunately x.x .They're already owned and. :sniff: COPYRIGHTED.. ::Cries.:: Review, please! ^^  
  
  
  
"NOOO! I will NOT lose!!" cried Perfect Cell, biting his lip harshly, breathing heavily, as the fight continued. He had been losing terribly for some time, now.  
  
"You won't lose?! I think you will!" yelled Malik Ishtar, at the top of his lungs. Tristan bonked him on the head with an inflatable sledgehammer. This caused him to blink, and he was thrown out of bounds. Cell laughed menacingly, as Malik sadly switched spots with Vegeta; for it was now his fight. Malik, uncontrollably, grabbed Tristan, slamming a coconut cream pie in his face. Tristan, being quite the brainless one, just licked it off. "Uh.creamy! Got another one?"  
  
"All right, you're going down, Cell boy!" cried Vegeta, rather abruptly. Cell shook his head. 'I've got this match in the bag!' he thought to himself, grinning wickedly. The tide had turned, however, when Vegeta side- swiped him in the gut, causing him to fly out of bounds.like Cell had displayed during his fight with the unforgiving Malik.  
  
"Who's victorious?! Me, of course!" Vegeta said, with a laugh.  
  
"I.shall return!" cried Cell, exiting the mad house at once. It was Domon Kasshu's turn, now. He had never lost a match. Never. And certainly not to someone who thought he was the 'strongest warrior in the universe'. This guy was definitely a joke.  
  
"You rely on that pathetic robot thing, fool!" Vegeta shouted, with a laugh. He was talking about his opponent's Gundam.The Shining Gundam. Domon's mouth quickly turned into a smirk.a deadly one. Vegeta laughed.  
  
"What, nothing to say? I didn't think so! I am the strongest, boldest Saiyan in the universe!" He shouted, letting his humongous ego show, once more. Domon just shook his head, getting into a fighting stance. The match was about to begin.  
  
"Well, then I hope it won't be shocking to you, Mr. Bold One.by defeating you!" He replied, laughing, as he was gaining the upper-edge on this fight. "Bold one? That sounds like 'bald one'. Hey, I take offense to that!" Tienshinhan informed.whoever might be listening. Which, of course, no one was. Suddenly, Yamcha ran into the room, tripping over Tristan and Malik's little 'dog' fight, almost dropping the food he had.  
  
"Hey, you guys! Let's have a barbeque! I'll make the hotdogs!" Yamcha grinned. Tienshinhan just shook his head, partially rolling his eyes. "Well, well. You seem quite confident, Yamcha." He said, flatly. Yamcha looked over at him, his eyes gleaming.  
  
"Aren't I always? Don't make me Wolf Fang Fist y-" his sentence was abruptly cut off. Domon waved to Vegeta. "Looks like I am the winner! Poor Vegeta." He laughed. Vegeta glared at him, leaving. Sesshomaru, who had been sitting quietly in the corner, had stood up, facing Domon. "I believe it is my turn." He said, grinning maliciously. Domon smirked, giving him a sort of 'bring-it' look. Sesshomaru, (who I will call 'Sesshy', because it is much easier to write.err, type), took his position.  
  
"I bet fifty smackers on that cat.dog thingy.?" Yamcha started.Confusing himself completely. Tien laughed once more at him, shaking his head. Yamcha glared over at his bald companion, wondering what was driving him into complete hysteria. "Your peanut-sized brain has always deceived you, hasn't it, Yamcha?" Tien said, between laughs. Everyone in the room cracked up at this remark, except for Yamcha, of course. "I'm gonna make some food, and YOU'RE gonna help me, like it or not!" He cried, grabbing Tien, and pulling him out of there. "Sounds like fun." Tien wailed, unable to stop Yamcha. Too lazy to, rather.  
  
Tristan had wolfed down three pies..before Malik gave up on him. The two quickly chased after Yamcha and Tien.wanting their share of the food too, before it was all wolfed down by the two excited Z-Fighters. Instead of finding what they had expected.Yamcha and Tien, instead of watching the roasting hot dogs, were having a rather immature food fight. After a tomato landed straight in Maliks' face, he decided to join in on the fun.As did Tristan. No doubt the hot dogs would get burnt again.  
  
* * *  
  
Sesshy, Domon, and Bakura were the only sensible ones present. Due to this, they decided to hold a free-for-all battle, with three fighters.  
  
"Jump! JUMP!! I will not lose, due to this fools' inability to serve his master!" Sesshy cried.  
  
"I'm glad I picked this pink marshmallow guy.He's really good! The innocent ones are always the most dangerous!" Bakura commented, with a laugh...Slightly speaking for himself.  
  
"No, I figure, go for the character that's most admired with the ladies'..In this case, Link wins, by far." Domon retorted.  
  
"I thought you're anti-social?" inquired Bakura.  
  
Domon shook his head. "Never mind that!"  
  
Then.Bakura had suddenly won. Laughing, he said, "Ah, Super Smash Brothers is really exciting, isn't it?" 


	2. Chapter 2: A Fight, for reals

Disclaimer: I don't own anything in here, sadly.However, I DO own HoP, as you will find out later.  
  
Note: I don't this is as good as the own before.but hey! You might have a different opinion. Let me know.R&R, please! ^^  
  
  
  
This was for real, now. No tricks. No games. No Super Smash Brothers. A tournament was about to take place. There was a kitchen, off to the side, as well. Snacks were being prepared for the fighters. There also was a new rule. Everyone was allowed to invite one person. So, there were some new faces. Bakura didn't want to drag anyone into this.Neither did Malik. They didn't want their friends. . (Or advisors/servants. . .) . to get hurt, or anything.  
  
Now, our buddy Tristan wasn't there. . . ever since that dreaded day, when Malik had thrown that. delicious coconut cream pie at him. . . . He had enrolled into a new program, called "Hooked-on-Pies" (HoP). It helps people get to better understand their pies before eating them, sort of a psychological thing. The program also helps control hunger issues.  
  
Domon Kasshu, on the other hand, did invite someone. And it was none other then George de Sand, who insisted on bringing Chibodee Crockett along, as well. They protested immediately when they found out there weren't going to be any girls there, but came along anyway. Chibodee, not realizing the importance of this fight, decided to pick up a few snacks, and maybe a movie or two. He didn't know that it was, well, a REAL fight!  
  
Tienshinhan and Yamcha were there. . .they also decided not to bring anyone along. More people meant more competition, and for those with. . . well, peanut-sized brains, this was good. Not like they'd end up fighting, most likely, anyway. Vegeta, as well, didn't bring anyone to attend. Everyone he asked was too busy, which he despised, of course. Sesshomaru, unlike Bakura, brought along Naraku, wanting him to suffer as much as he had, before. Being a evil sort of guy.  
  
Bit Cloud had just shown up, wearing nothing but pink polka-dotted boxers. He claimed it was "the newest fad".  
  
And, well, last but not least, Cell couldn't attend. He was out, with Malik, who decided to join him, taking ballroom-dancing classes.  
  
"Ha! Naraku-this!" Vegeta laughed, slamming Naraku painfully against the wall. He grinned, proud of himself. Naraku had lost.  
  
"Noo! This can't be! Grrr! What a rip off. . ." He cried, heading towards the door. Sesshomaru decided to go with him. He'd rather not face this. . . Vegeta was showing off. For who? . . .Good question.  
  
Bakura's turn was coming up. He decided to step up, taking a deep breath. Domon was sitting on the couch, and George was playing cards with Bit. "Ha, full house!" exclaimed Bit, laughing evilly.  
  
"Ah, perhaps, but a full house is nothing compared to my Royal Flush!" George replied, mockingly, laying down his hand. He smirked, while Bit fell over, off the couch.  
  
"So, brittish boy! Are you ready?!" Vegeta cackled. Bakura shook his head. He would try not to lose, but that might be hard, against royality. . .  
  
***  
  
Meanwhile, Chibodee Crockett was at some movie store, chewing on his grass, and wearing his cowboy hat. "Yeah, I'm looking for this movie, and in it, there's this guy . . . 'cccrrraaaasssh!' 'bang!' 'ba-boom!' 'Woo-oo-woo!' 'You're under arrest!'" He span around in a circle. "Can't catch me! Sphinx! Sphinx!" The man just stared at him. But hey, could you blame him..? Maybe Chibodee's been watching too much T.V.  
  
"Domon! Come and get 'em while they're hot!" a voice called out. Domon raced to the kitchen. . . .  
  
"You washed your hands.?" Yamcha asked. Domon nodded, jumping up and down. Tien set down a tray of chocolate brownies.  
  
"Oh boy, oh boy!!!" Domon shouted, wolfing them down. Yamcha smiled.  
  
"That's my boy. . ." He said, with a sniff. Perhaps they were a little, uh, drunk..?  
  
Anyway, Bakura, George, Bit, and Vegeta were the only real fighters left. "Go me! Go me!!" cried Vegeta, who was obviously winning. He fired a Ki blast, followed by his Galick Gun. Bakura took a few steps back, successfully blocking the blast. He deflected it, sending it spiraling towards Vegeta, who was knocked out of the little ring. Bakura smiled, nodding politely. Vegeta cursed and grumbled, stomping out.  
  
"I'm not finished yet! You just wait.freak!" Vegeta cried, slamming the wooden door upon his.disturbing exit. Domon was still wolfing down his cookies. Bit laughed menacingly, as he had just beaten George in a round of . . . Go fish. George shook his head.  
  
"You just got lucky, my animal-piloting friend." George said, with a sigh. Bit laughed at him.  
  
"Hey, my Lyger Zero is WAY better then your stupid Gundam! I mean, come on! What can it do!?" Bit replied, mockingly. Bakura shook his head.  
  
"Are we fighting, or gossiping, you two? Who's next?" He asked, rather impatiently. George shrugged, gesturing for Bit to go first. Bit grinned, bouncing out of his seat, and over to the arena.  
  
"All right. Haha. I'll fry you.!" He said, with a laugh. Bakura sighed. This was going to be rather easy. He had won that foolish Super Smash brothers tournament, and this was no doubt going to be a piece of cake. George decided to go see what Domon was up to, figuring it would be more entertaining then the fight. Domon was still eating brownies, with chocolate covering his face.  
  
"Uh, Domon..?" He started. Suddenly, Bit Cloud ran into the room.  
  
"BROWNIES!!!" He exclaimed. George quizzically looked over at him.  
  
"What about your fight?" He started. . . Bit shrugged, thinking it was no big deal.  
  
"Hey, when I'm hungry, I eat!" Bit stated, reaching for a brownie. Domon smacked him.  
  
"You no eat my brownies!" Domon cried. He started to tear up. Tien hugged him, reassuringly. Who did this 'Bit' figure think he was?! Taking his boy's brownies?! Oooh, he was going to get it!  
  
Yamcha scowled. "Just WHAT do you think you're doing, Bit boy?!" he exclaimed. Bit hid behind a chair.  
  
"I. just wanted a taste." He replied. Yamcha sighed, letting the boy have one. George shook his head. The insanity was way too much. He went back to Bakura, who was practicing his moves. George decided to face him. There was nothing better to do. Definetly not. Not with these insane people!  
  
Bakura turned, spotting his opponent. George nodded, all friendly-like, then idly wondered about Chibodee..thinking he probably had things under control, he forgot about it, attaining a fighters' stance.  
  
The fight began. It was a tough, rough, and grueling battle. Both fighters were weakening. Well, George was winning by a bit, though. "Prepare for my special attack!" Bakura cried. George blinked, wondering what attack this boy could have. He looked like he was barely out of elementary school! He didn't say this out loud, of course, being such a nice guy.  
  
"Punch.punch..punch...punch..energy!!!" Bakura screamed. He fired none other then a kamehameha blast. George was sent flying out of the arena. He cursed, shaking his head. He let his guard down! What a fool he had been.  
  
Bakura laughed, saying in his annoying English accent, "You know, this Dragonball-Z Budokai game is most definetly realistic, don't you think?" 


End file.
